we’re baaaack.

I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact that we (my baggage and I) are back home.  Not only did we make it home fully intact, we even seem to have picked up some new baggage due to unexpected issue expansion.  Oh, how I wish I were exaggerating.

First, a couple of preliminary matters:  Yay Sunshine!  Yay beautiful snow-capped mountains and spring flowers peeking out!  Yay familiar streets! and Yay+Yay for awesome kid coming to pick me up and even coming inside the airport for me! 

Also:  Yay! My fabulous roommate/genius mother is still out of town!  This means: (a) no one is here to notice that my actual baggage is spread out over three floors of our home… and (b) I don’t have to explain/describe/talk about my trip yet.  Whew.

If I absolutely had to talk about my trip today — instead of nursing my trip hangover and napping — I would probably say something uber-cheerful about how great it was and hope to God that was the end of the discussion.

The truth is that it was great.  Awesome.  Amazing.  Life changing, even. 

But before it was all of those things, it was hard, sucky, scary, prickly, uncomfortable, sad, violent, weird, out-of-body-ish, deja vu-ish, “I can’t believe I forgot [x]!”-ish and “who-the-fuck-am-I?”-ish.  Not to mention having to look at and talk to monsters and walls and patterns, oh my!

And mixed into all of it was the fun.  Not the grown-up “oh, going out to dinner and seeing a movie is just so fabulously fun!” kind of fun.  The kind of  fun you barely remember ever having until you do it again — blanket fort fun!  drawing pictures fun!  using glue fun! pillow fun!  magic marker fun! quitting what you are doing as soon as something else looks fun kind of fun!  dancing fun!  woo-hoo fun!

Plus napping.

And epiphanies!  I was feeling all “I suck” because it seemed that other people were having epiphanies and I wasn’t.  Which is stupid because I should know by now that I am a “delayed reaction” person in a lot of ways.  Like tanning and epiphany-having.  My epiphanies came at the very very end of the first workshop (the Rally!) and after the second workshop (Playing the Matrix) and on the flight home, and last night, and this morning.  I’m pretty sure I’m not done.

Anyway.  It was a big week.  Lots of stuff happened.  I’m still trying to sort it all out and figure out what to do with all of it and how (or whether) to explain it.

Oh!  Here’s a surprising (to some…) twist — the Moratorium remained intact all week!  I’m giving myself a lot of sparklepoints for that because (a) it was raining the entire time and, well, I have a thing about rain (or any kind of precipitation, really) and (b)  I’m cuter in the pacific northwest…. and (c)  Portland appears to be dripping with interesting men.  Some of whom I met.

Yay me!





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5 responses to “we’re baaaack.

  1. dude! i’m jealous…. i met none of these men!

    and yay for epiphanies!!

  2. Irene

    Here’s what i wanted to write the other day but couldn’t find it kim, i don’t know if its an exact quote but you can get the gist (I’ll look up the exact quote and get back to you but. . .) it goes something like this, its by marianne williamson
    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. Its our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be powerful? As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

    your presence is felt Kim! keep up the good work! Can’t wait until you next write!

    • kim


      I have heard that quote and I don’t think I fully understood it until very recently. Thank you for sharing it with me again. And thank you so much for reading – it means a lot to me.

  3. Claire P

    Hmmm…. sorting it out, figuring out what to do with it, explaining it… You know that a wordpress blog EXACTLY like this one might be a good place to do that stuff!!!

    Yours in gleeful anticipation*

    *Because you’ll rock it, the sorting and figuring and explaining and stuff. You totally totally will. Go on!!

    • kim

      Thanks Claire 🙂

      This blogging stuff does help me work through things, but I find that often they have to percolate a bit before I can even begin to “address” them in writing. Thank you so much for reading and commenting, it makes the process so much more fun!

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