Oh, Hello.

Oh. My. God.

It’s been a loooooong time since I’ve blogged.

And it turns out that the longer I don’t write on the blog, the harder it is to come back to writing on the blog because of the need for….

A REASONABLE EXPLANATION FOR THE EXTENDED PERIOD OF NOT-BLOGGING.

Here’s the thing:

I DON’T HAVE ONE.

There.

Now that THAT is out of the way, I shall just resume with the blogging as if the not-blogging-forever (or a month…) never happened.

Cool?

And I shall resume blogging by compiling everyone’s favorite thing:   A LIST!

What kind of list?

THE OFFICIAL LIST OF THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED SINCE I LAST BLOGGED:

1.  So, in my last blog entry (June 6) I was sad because it was the 6 month anniversary (is that the right word?) of my sweet mommy’s passing and then I realized that I was being bitchy about the upcoming non-memorial-service party for my mom because I didn’t really want the party to happen because that meant that my mom is officially gone, etc. etc.  So that SUCKED.

2.  And then I apologized to the people I was bitchy to and they were all “we understand” and “that makes sense” and “it’s gonna be ok, kimmy” and I was all “how the fuck do I get to be related to the coolest people on earth?  Seriously!”… So that was MUCH BETTER.

3.  And then I just went about my business of not leaving Mexico for a bit longer….

4.  And then YAY!  Miss Leighton Liv Tempel finally graced us with her presence on June 9!! (That’s her in the picture above) And I rejoiced.  She was 20” long and 7 lbs. 7 oz and totally healthy and  a GIRL!?!?  Almost everyone firmly believed that Leighton was gonna be a boy, including me.

5.  And then I still didn’t leave Mexico until the 23rd because, first, Leighton and her mom had to stay in the hospital for almost a week on account of how Leighton didn’t want to be delivered the regular way and, then, the person who was supposed to be renting part of my house for the next 5 months (and, importantly, watching over it while I was gone) up and moved out in the middle of the night the day before I was scheduled to leave and then I had to have a nervous breakdown and also scramble to get someone into the house for God’s sake, so all in all my return flight was changed twice ($150 down the draino).

6.  Also, (dear God, why do I have Compulsive Disclosure Disorder?  Obsessive Honesty Issues?) sometime in there I kind of met a nice man and had some fun so it didn’t totally suck to stay in Mexico a leetle bit longer….. 🙂  Enough about that.

7.  So I left Mexico, but see #11 below.

8.  And then I flew to California and met Leighton!!!!  I’m in love with that baby girl.  I love her mom and dad, obviously, but, you know, they are old news, now it’s all about LEIGHTON.  I spent a whole week in Santa Monica (which is gorgeous, FYI) and was very sad to leave.

9.  But I got to come home to Colorado and that is the best feeling ever even though it’s been super hot and dry and there are horrible wildfires all over the state.  I realized that no matter where I go and how long I stay away, Colorado will always feel like home to me.  That is a nice feeling.  Also, I get to stay with my Aunt Marilyn and Uncle Sherm, who I fucking adore and not just because staying at their house is like staying at the Ritz Carlton with room service and a waterfall and all that.  They make me feel like even though my mom and dad are both gone, I’m ok because they’ve totally got my back and that is what family is all about, right?

10.  I finally got to see my amazing son Austin on Wednesday.  I hadn’t seen him since January and that was officially the longest amount of time that I hadn’t laid eyes on him in his whole entire life.   I don’t like not seeing him.  I don’t like it one bit.  Anyway, he’s still awesome and he is my favorite person in the whole wide world and he’s only vaguely aware of not seeing me for almost six months and is distinctly uninterested in filling me in on what is going on in his life beyond “I’m good.”  So.  Yes.  He’s still a teenager.

11.  OH, also this week on HGTV there was a Househunters International episode on Puerto Morelos!  It was the first of three episodes (next is August 6th) and it’s extra exciting for me because the episodes involve my friend Amber at Mayan Riviera Properties and guess what else?  I’M GOING TO BE WORKING WITH MAYAN RIVIERA PROPERTIES BEGINNING NEXT FALL, Y’ALL.  Yep.  That also happened while I wasn’t blogging.  I’m so excited I can hardly stand it and you guys will probably hear way more about it than you’re even interested in because (a)  I GOT A JOB and (b) IT’S NOT A LAWYER JOB and (c)  IT’S IN MOTHERFUCKING PARADISE, PEOPLE!!

12.  I’m serious about the job…. you can check out the website at  www.mayanrivieraproperties.com!  I go back to Puerto Morelos in September and then start work in October!  Come visit!!!!

13.  So anyway, I’m back in Colorado and I’ve got a ton of stuff to do — not the least of which is getting ready for the big non-memorial-party for mom next Saturday, July 14th (her birthday).  My sassy Virgo sister and her brilliant daughter Madison arrive in Denver tomorrow and then we will head down to the family farm in Lamar, CO on Tuesday.  We do have to go through mom’s house there and decide what to do with everything (which will SUCK) but at least we get to do it together (which is AWESOME) and we get to spend time with all sorts of people who we hardly ever get to see.

14.  I know I’ve said this before, but THANK GOD for my sassy Virgo sister…. Seriously.  I would be totally fucked without her.

15.  Here’s a fun fact:  In Colorado they don’t tell you when they suspend your driver’s license because you were late paying a ticket, they just suspend it and wait for you to find out about that THREE YEARS LATER when you go in to renew your license and then you not only have to pay a $95 reinstatement fee, you get to take the written exam again (ummm, twice if you don’t pass it the first time….) and then you get to do the driving test and then you get to go all the way back to the driver’s license office to wait for two hours to get your actual license.  And that was how I spent the day today.

16.  And I think that’s it for now.

xoxo

kim

p.s.  in other big news – i finally got my hair cut and colored and i got rid of the silver stripe.  the stripe was fun for awhile but it’s kinda high maintenance and whenever i saw myself in pictures i was all “who is the old lady with the stripe?” and then “FUCK, it’s me.”  also i realized that pretty much all my hair is now the color  of the stripe (silver/white)  so i will have plenty of time having all silver/white hair in the not-so-distant-future.

p.p.s.  i’m still phat.  aunt marilyn is gonna whip me into shape, though…. stay tuned.

p.p.p.s.  i’m leighton’s favorite aunt, probably.