Hello blog. Hello blog people. Hello world. Hello to the part of me who has always been a writer but who doesn’t always get to write. Today is your lucky day, sweet pea. We are writing.
Honestly, it has a lot to do with this http://therumpus.net/2013/02/it-doesnt-mean-very-much-at-all/ — not the feminist part, but the part about how she writes and I flinch and my brain tries to cover my eyes but I can’t stop reading because it’s so so so so goood.
And also because it’s about feminism and sexuality and how women are supposed to hide their sexuality, apologize for it, repent, speak in hushed tones, play a game. What would it be like if we were allowed to revel in it like the boys?
I mean, I have all these thoughts about it (sexuality, specifically mine), but I can’t even write them down and say them out loud because (eek!) I’m a woman! and (gasp!) I have a son! and (the horror!) I live in a small town! and (egads!) what would people think?!
Mostly I just love how that woman writes and she inspired me. I didn’t really plan on exploring sexuality or feminism or anything.
On the other hand, I do have some, ummm, situations that I
want need to explore in writing, but can’t/won’t/ok might because of the aforementioned fucked-upness about women and sex (but probably mostly because of the small town)(which I should probably get over, right?)(or move…)
So don’t try to make me.
Other than to say that my entire life might be a cliche right now.
In other news – hello!
I’m still in Mexico, y’all…!
And, in keeping with tradition, here’s a list of shit I’m doing/have done/am thinking about, etc.:
- It’s National Margarita Day (in the U.S., but we’re celebrating it here too)(I haven’t started drinking yet, FYI…)(I don’t love tequila, but I do love lime and all things lime-related, so, I guess I’ll have a margarita today…)
- Did I tell you guys about how I went back to Colorado for Thanksgiving and my one week trip turned into almost 5 weeks because I was also applying for my visa that allows me to work in Mexico and Mexico just changed their entire Immigration system but forgot to tell their employees how to do it and I just happened to be one of the first people to apply under the new system and no one in Mexico or Colorado knew what to do? Limbo. It sucked. But was also awesome because Colorado and amazing son and family and friends.
- It was weird though because Colorado was warm. I only saw like 10 snowflakes one morning out of the entire 5 weeks. I love it here, but I long for a quiet snow morning with hot tea and snowflake contemplation and warmies.
- Then I came back and my first renter arrived (from Norway!) and she turned out to be batshit, certifiably, fresh out of a mental institution and obsessed with the end of the Mayan calendar crazy…. For. Fucking. Real. She had a lot of names, but one of my favorites was Mooki. Luckily I’ve had some experience dealing with people who are actually nuts, but Mooki was kinda scary.
- And now I play “Words with Friends” (a/k/a Scrabble…) on FB with Mooki’s ex-husband…. ? (Who appears to be terribly good looking but also “in a relationship”… just my luck.)(He’s also pretty good at Scrabble…)(Which makes him even more attractive….. HEAVY FUCKING SIGH.)
- I like smart men.
- Ha. Oh God. I can just imagine what you’re thinking.
- So. What else. My son is IN LOVE for, I think, the first time and it’s very cute. I’ve stalked the girl on FB (naturally….) and she seems cool/smart/pretty. He’s funny. He says she’s stubborn and dramatic. I tell him that she is perfect for him because he has so much experience with me as his mommy. He laughs and agrees. God help me I adore that kid.
- It’s hard because she’s probably going to break his heart. It’s nothing personal! I just mean, statistically speaking, she’s probably not going to be “The One”, so I probably should just skip the getting to know and like her part because of the whole “bitch broke my sweet pea’s heart” part, right?
- Is being a mother ever going to be less fraught with emotion?
- Is that even a proper sentence?
- I LOVE MY JOB. Remember how much I hated practicing law? That’s how much I love this job. I’m making ZERO money so far, but the people I work with are amazing and the clients are interesting/annoying/hilarious.
- Ohhhhh, wanna see the Studio apartment at my house? It’s very cool and people who have visited seem to love it! I have it listed on FlipKey and Airbnb – here’s a link: https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/686258?preview=true
- Come visit!
- My sister and niece came to visit and it was awesome and they left with a DOG that they adopted from foster care here in PoMo… I’m not kidding. It was a fun visit, but way too short and also, the dog thing?? It took up a LOT of our limited time. Still. Everyone is happy now.
- My 30th (THIRTIETH) High School Reunion is coming up. WTF???? Don’t know if I can go yet. Must diet.
- I listen to KBCO out of Boulder, CO every morning via the miracle of the internet — I love it because I love the music and I love hearing the weather report and the traffic report and going “HA HA!” and sometimes they make my whole day by playing one song. Today it was this one:
How did I get here? Once in a lifetime… 🙂
p.s. are you happy now irene?
p.s.s. yes, natalie, i know there is no such thing as a “p.s.s.” but i like it, so i’m gonna use it. get your rules off my writing!! xoxoxo
p.s.s.s. i’m a little giddy because I WROTE SOMETHING! FINALLY! it’s been awhile and this isn’t even a real post, but still…
p.s.s.s.s. you were nervous when it looked like i was gonna talk about sex and stuff, weren’t you? admit it.