I’ve been thinking about angels lately.
Not necessarily in a religious way.
Or maybe that isn’t true, I mean is there any other way to think of angels? But for religion, would there be angels? I think not.
But it’s not something I want to analyze and argue about.
What does it matter what I believe to be true anyway? Isn’t it only important to me? Does it hurt anyone else if I do or do not believe in angels?
In any event, I think I do believe in them.
I believe in them in a woo-woo way and also in a flesh and blood way.
Or maybe I’m confusing things.
What I’m trying to say is that I can see that throughout my life I have often asked someone out there (God? Angels? The Universe?) for help and it almost always shows up in the form of a person. Did God/Angels/the Universe send the person, or is the person God/An Angel/The Universe.
The answer is probably YES….
I see angels in the architecture of my life.
And I’m so very grateful for that.
(moment of silence…. thank you)
And this is coming up for me now because, if you’ve been following along, I’ve recently had a little trouble (read: total fucking nightmare situation triggering huge fear, shame, anger, vulnerability, panic…it’s bad) which comes on the heels of losing my artistic genius mommy (who had great hair) to stupid fucking cancer, like, just yesterday. (ok, she passed in December, but usually it feels like yesterday) and other related horribleness.
So, in the middle of some pretty intense darkness, some completely unexpected help arrived and blew my mind.
I have no other way to describe it.
And this Angel came to me through my blog.
Which blows my mind on so many levels (I have a blog? I write? I write about intensely personal and oftentimes super-uncomfortable shit and other people actually read it? And they laugh at the same shit I laugh at? And they take time out of their day to actually write me back? And they aren’t offended by how often I use the term “fuck”? And now they offer to help me without having ever met me in person???!!)
I’m grateful for all the angels who have appeared in the architecture of my life (but I’m afraid to start naming them out loud because what if I forget one and hurt their angelic feelings?)(and then what if they get super pissed and start using their powers for evil?)(I would be fucked.) and today I’m especially grateful for the sweet angel who is helping me out based solely on the fact that we found one another on the worldwide interweb and we share some awful experiences and she isn’t offended by my vulgar language, presumably.
Thank you. Hand-on-heart thank you.
On a lighter note:
Is anyone else around here obsessed with Sons of Anarchy?
My sassy Virgo seester turned me onto the show and I CAN’T STOP WATCHING.
I’m on Season 4 now and I’m trying to pace my viewing so I can enjoy it for a little bit longer.
Top Ten Things I Wanna Say About Sons of Anarchy:
1. Jackson “Jax” Teller. If you don’t know why that statement is number 1 on this list, do yourself a favor and take a peek at this dude. (ok, if you’re a guy, you might not be as excited about this, depending on your sexual orientation) He’s ridiculously good looking. Not just that, he’s dead sexy. Also, the actor who plays Jax is British (or something like that) trying to play a California biker dude — it’s interesting listening. He mostly nails it, but some stuff is… off.
2. I don’t even really like giant back tattoos, or blondes, or stringy hair or guys who wear lots of big rings (so they can cause more damage when they hit people….) and I would totally do Jax Teller. In a heartbeat. No questions asked.
3. Did you know that if you ever get kicked out of a motorcycle club (read: violent gang) they peel off your huge gang tattoo? Or they just kill you. Honestly it’s best to just not get kicked out.
4. According to Sons of Anarchy, motorcycle gang dudes hug each other a lot. Like, they are very loving to one another. Sometimes they even kiss.
5. It turns out you can’t just join a motorcycle gang — you’ve got to be, like, an apprentice for a seriously long time and then they might let you join, assuming you survived the apprenticeship.
6. Motorcycle gang guys take their leather “cuts” very seriously. Do not fuck with a biker guy’s leather jacket. FYI.
7. You should probably not ever touch one of their motorcycles either.
8. Horrific violence is less horrific if there’s a great soundtrack going on while the violence is happening. It’s weird. It becomes more dreamlike and less patently offensive. Bravo, Sons of Anarchy?
9. Women who love motorcyle gang dudes are basically fucked. These guys are constantly up to outlaw stuff, never call home and are surrounded by skanky chicks who wanna have sex with them all the time. And you’re not really allowed to question anything they do…. Oh, and if they are in jail, you are totally allowed/expected to fuck one of the other motorcycle gang dudes. I would suck at being an “old lady” to a biker dude. At least I know that now…..
10. If you’re gonna be a woman who loves a motorcycle gang dude, fall in love with the head honcho cuz then the other bitches have to show you respect…. Ha!
p.s. yes i’m still in puerto morelos and NO, they haven’t arrested the asshole who stole all my shit…. the good news is that i haven’t seen him around town or heard from him so maybe he is really gone.
p.p.s. my baby boy turned 20 this week. WTF?
p.p.p.s. oohhhhhhh, i experienced my first almost-hurricane (Ernesto) — yikes! i was scared but everything was fine – lots of rain and wind but very manageable. i am stocked up and ready for the next one though…..