Dear Blog, Go On Without Me, Love, Kim

Dear Blog,

Just a quick note to let you know that you are going to have to go on without me.  I know that doesn’t seem possible, seeing that technically I’m your author, but you’re going to have to work it out on your own.  I love you and I’m sorry.

xoxo

kim

+ + + + + + + + + +

Dear Drama-Kim,

WTF?  I’m a blog, I can’t “work it out” on my own.  You can’t just stop writing me.  I’ve got FANS who are counting on me, Kim.  And not all of them are your relatives.  What is your problem? 

Regards,

Blog

+ + + + + + + + + +

Blog –

I don’t know if you have noticed, but I CAN’T WRITE.  I don’t know what happened.  I thought I could write but I looked back at what I wrote and I think it is mediocre at best and mostly not very funny.  At all.   There are a LOT of funny women writing on the world wide interweb these days and I’m really starting to doubt that there is room for moi.  Plus, I’m soooooooooooooooo tired of hearing myself whine and work shit out and talk to monsters and fabric and my multiple personalities.  Does anything ever get solved?  It doesn’t seem like it.  All these issues get raised and then what?  NOTHING, that is what.  Did I do my tax stuff? NO.  Did I make a safe place for myself to feel my feelings about you-know-what?  NO.  Did I address that big wall around money stuff?  NO.  And, furthermore, Mom has been gone since Saturday and I’ve had the house all to myself (which is fucking awesome, btw) which means I have had nothing but time to write like a motherfucker.  So what have I written?  N-O-T-H-I-N-G.  I can’t even bring myself to comment on other people’s blogs, much less write my own.

I can’t even write a “To-Do List”…..

Here is what I have “accomplished” since Mom left:

–  Some laundry.

– Some “homework” from the online classes I started just before Mom’s brain tumor was diagnosed.  (The classes are both over but I have all the materials and can do them myself, but kind of the whole point of the classes (or a big part of it) was to meet other people and share stories/feedback/etc. and that can’t happen because the other people finished the classes.)

That is about it.

I’ve gone to the cafe to write twice – nada.

I have a gillion things to do + I need to write.

Instead I’m not doing the things I need to do and I’m not writing and, to top it all off, I’m not sleeping.

I don’t really know what I am doing with my time.  I guess not-writing and worrying about not-writing is keeping me fairly busy.

Anyway, Blog, I don’t know what else to say.  I can’t write.

xoxo

Me

+ + + + + + + + + +

Kim~

Wow.  Sounds like you are having a hard time.  It’s kind of confusing for me, since you were all excited about writing as recently as last week.  You were even talking about starting another blog, i.e., writing more often.  What happened to that idea?  And, let me get this straight, you’ve run across other women bloggers who you admire and who you think are funny so you don’t think there is “room” in/on the internet for your writing…?  That seems like a stretch to me.  The internet is pretty big.  And mostly you are writing for you — at least that is what you have said in the past.  So why does it matter what other people are doing?  And that doesn’t explain why you aren’t even doing non-blog writing right now.  Something is definitely going on with you, but I don’t think it means that you can’t blog anymore.  Or that you can’t write ever again.  I know you are frustrated because it seems like some issues aren’t getting “resolved” but really they are moving more towards resolution than ever before mostly because you are writing about them.  Isn’t that a good thing?  I think it is.  And, Kim, you don’t whine all the time.  Further, the fact that you annoy yourself with your whining makes you human.  And funny.  I think you need to give yourself a break.  And get some sleep.  Everything seems worse when you haven’t slept.  I think you need to decide that you are not going to write for a certain amount of time, get some sleep and then try again.  I’m not going on without you.  That would be stupid.

love,

Blog

+ + + + + + + + + +

Oh Blog….

You are being really nice to me.  Thanks.  You’re probably right that my writer’s block isn’t going to last forever.  I guess I was being a bit dramatic….  And you’re right that this lack of sleep is making everything worse.  Maybe I will stop beating myself up for awhile.  Maybe not.  Who knows.  Anyway, thanks for listening.  And thanks for not going on without me.  I’m sure I will be back.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

kim

Advertisements

11 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

11 responses to “Dear Blog, Go On Without Me, Love, Kim

  1. Jonas

    I’d like to point out a few important facts:

    1. As a regular reader of your blog, its important to continue and write as often as possible. Mostly because it helps me entertain myself.
    2. When you just write, its natural and reads very natural. So you should just try that more often. No bitching, just writing for writing sake.

    For example, why don’t you write about one of these topics:
    A: Eloise, one of the fluffiest and cutest dogs ever.
    B: Decorating the Xmas tree and drinking a glass of wine at Xmas dinner with Linda and Dad. Which was always fun.
    C: Kicking ass in law school and how good that felt to know you were one of the best!
    D: Visiting Creede as a family and how much fun we always had with Grandma and Grandpa.
    E: Visiting Canada without me! I was so jealous but happy for you.
    F: Listening to Styx and Asia records in your room cause you had the kick ass stereo that Dad bought you.
    G. Trying to get the hilarious mobile phone working in the Pontiac.

    I could give you lots more, but that is a good start. Surely one of those can inspire a few words that connect happy memories.

    J

    • kim

      Are you really a regular reader?! That’s awesome. Thanks JKT. I can’t believe you were jealous about Canada. I thought I was the only one who was ever jealous. You learn something new every day. Thanks for the encouragement and suggested topics 🙂

      love you,
      kim

  2. irene

    kimmers – you KNOW i’m a regular reader and i check every nite for your blog. two extremely valuable ideas you shared w/me, right off the top of my head may inspire you to break thru your writers block: 1) gathering information and 2) what’s the unanswerable question? hope this helps. . .i’ll think of more to sharel oh yeah, here’s one more: STARTWHERVER YOU ARE!
    love, irene xoxo

    • kim

      Irene! Thank you for being so awesome all the damn time. I shared those ideas with you??? I’m confused. But thanks for reminding me about “start wherever you are….” I should know that one by now.

      xoxo
      kim

  3. peep

    definitely not a relative of yours and perhaps not the most regular of readers either but i do like reading what you write… so please keep going :o)

  4. Sue T

    Oh, dear Kim,
    I think your writing is brilliant (already). In fact I sometimes want to comment but my awestruck comments might babble on longer than the blog post. (For example, your posts about your son’s graduation.) Or if I edited my comments to be meaningful but brief it could take all day.

    I recognize all those “have I done X yet? NO.” items so, so well. Sigh. When I find you writing about them in such an endearing and entertaining way, I have renewed hope about my own blocks. (If it is humorous, it must be not as difficult as I tell myself.)

    “Just start” is my best unsolicited advice about writing (much easier than about tax stuff). Maybe handwritten? I don’t blog and don’t journal often but I always feel better after the start of the second sentence.

    • kim

      Sue!

      Thank you so much for writing. It’s so nice to hear from you and to know that someone else out there struggles with this stuff. And you are SO RIGHT. “Just start” is good advice and of course it always works. When I do it. Which isn’t as often as I would like…. heavy sigh….

      Are you going to be able to go Rally! this year? I would really like to do the Shiva Nata teacher training but am afraid to committ to something so far in the future given mom’s situation. I’m sure you understand how that goes! Anyway, hope you are well and thanks again for writing.

      xoxo
      kim

  5. lise

    Kim – KEEP writing! I don’t read every day, but I do read this…it’s good and I agree with your bro, write what you know/stories that are natural. – Lise

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s